


Homeosexual

by TSVhide



Category: TwoSet, Video Blogging RPF, twoset violin
Genre: Crack, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26002609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TSVhide/pseuds/TSVhide
Summary: Eddy has a strange attraction he's struggling with.
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Homeosexual

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: C R A C C

Eddy kind of always knew he was different from most of the other kids in his class. While the others talked about girls and what they would like to do with them, he didn't really relate to any of it. He didn't really have any interest in girls.

Then he met Brett, who told him about how there were other sexualities as well, like being gay or bisexual. Eddy thought for a while maybe that was the case, but he never really felt any attraction to anyone.

On the other hand, he had been attracted to _something._

It had started when his parents decided to move houses to be closer to his father's workplace and brought him to the real estate agent. All the pictures of embellished entrance areas, pillars, staircases... Oh god, just seeing the picture of the most beautiful spiral staircase he had ever seen was probably what made him realize this wasn't just any fascination for the beauty of the buildings.

Later he discovered that this had a name. Officially, this was a branch of objectophilia, but appearently it was more jokingly referred to as homeosexuality. Being sexual attracted to homes, or rather houses in general in Eddy's case. It didn't matter if anyone actually lived there.

He had no attraction to the house his parents moved their family to, though. It felt wrong, in the being attracted to your cousin kind of way.

Brett's house, on the other hand, was the most attractive house he had ever set foot in. It may not have looked special to anyone else, but the rough brick exterior, the clean windows, the staircase... Dear lord, the staircase. He had avoided going up it for all the years he and Brett had been friends simply because he knew he wouldn't be able to control himself if he did.

He still found himself carefully stroking the bottom of the smooth, wooden railings when he walked past, though. It felt like an innocent enough touch to anyone seeing him, even though the sudden tightness in his shorts on the days he hadn't found any good real estate catalogues in a while.

It was a secret for the longest time, mainly because how do you even bring up being sexually attracted to houses, right? And the judgement would surely be awful. Of course, it was Brett who noticed something weird first.

"Dude, stop jerking off my staircase," he joked as he came back from getting his wallet so they could go out for bubble tea, Brett's treat. Brett often offered to pay. "If you need something to jerk off, I can fix that for you."

Eddy turned bright red from being caught, not even noticing Brett's suggestive joke and quickly retracted his hand from the beautiful, swirly railing. The dark, warm brown colour of it had simply been too tempting and running his hand up it made him shiver with excitement.

"I uh... I wasn't..." he stuttered in response, licking his lips nervously, but Brett just pushed him playfully.

"I'm just messing with you," Brett chuckled, slipping his shoes on. "Let's go get bubble tea."

After this, it really felt like Brett was on to him every time they hung out at his house. He was always having his eyes on him, touching his arm when he spaced out admiring the archway between the living room and the dining room or the symmetry of the living room windows, giving him questioning looks when Eddy's eyes ran over the wallpaper.

"What'cha staring at?" Brett asked with a giggle one day when he caught him looking at the staircase directly behind Brett. "Admiring the view?"

"Uh... I... I mean... Kinda? It's..."

"Really?" Brett interrupted him, getting a hint of pink over his cheeks. Eddy didn't understand why. "Do you... I mean, do you...?"

"Yes, I have a thing for stairs," Eddy interrupted him, begging the earth to swallow him whole right then. If the lightning could strike him dead right then, that would be okay by him. "Houses, actually."

Brett blinked a few times as if processing the information for a bit.   
"Oh," he finally managed to say, running a hand through his hair. Eddy panicked.

"Okay, I know it's weird and I completely understand if you don't want me here anymore, but I can't help it! Your house is just so..."

"Eddy, it's fine," Brett sighed, interrupting him. Eddy tried to read his change of tone but couldn't. "It's just not what I thought you were going to say."

"Well, I suppose you don't learn someone you've known for years is attracted to houses every day," Eddy sighed, looking down at his hands where they fiddled with his sleeve. "Or really ever, except me. God why did I even tell you that? I'm so sorry, I know it's probably weirding you out."

"I mean... People are different," Brett said with flickering eyes. He sounded almost resigned, which didn't make sense to Eddy at all. Was he that disappointed with him?

"Yeah," Eddy said, not knowing what to say. The room fell silent, but not their usual comfortable silence. It felt like he was choking as an eternity passed, though it probably wasn't even two minutes before Brett spoke again.

"Is it... I mean... Is it just a sexual thing, or are you like... Romantically...?"

Eddy couldn't help but laugh a bit at the question. It hadn't even crossed his mind it was possible to be romantically attracted to a house.

"No, it's just sexually," he said, blushing but still smiling as he tried to contain his laugh. Brett seemed to be somewhat reanimated by his answer.

"So you could be romantically interested in someone else?" Brett asked, getting a bright pink colour in his cheeks. "I mean, in a human and not a... house...?"

"Yes, it has happened I've been attracted to humans. Romantically and sexually, before you ask," Eddy said, laughing nervously. This was such a weird conversation. "Why you asking, huh? Jealous of your house?"

"No, of course not!" Brett said quickly, cheeks burning. His laugh matched Eddy's from earlier, high pitched and nervous. "Why, do you have a special thing for my house or what?"

"I mean..." Eddy began, but his voice trailed off when Brett raised his eyebrow higher than he had ever seen it.

"Just tell me, right now," Brett began, running his hand through his hair with a soft giggle. "Eddy... Have you fucked my house?"

...

Things were much more relaxed after that, for Eddy at least. Brett was way more understanding about his interest in the house than Eddy had ever imagined possible, not even commenting on it when seeing him run his fingertips up a doorframe or even the time he found him sitting on the bottom of the stairs with his arms wrapped around the end post of the railing and his forehead resting against it like you would right before kissing someone hungrily.

Eddy did feel like there was something Brett wasn't telling him, though, but no matter how hard he tried he could not get him to spill it.

"I promise I won't laugh or anything, you're just feeling so off and it's freaking me out," Eddy begged one day they were hanging out at Brett's house for a movie night. "What's going in?"

Brett shifted his eyes away from the romantic comedy he had insisted they watched, shifting slightly.  
"It's really nothing, Eddy," Brett said with a small smile. "Just been thinking about a thing."

"What thing then?" Eddy insisted, reaching over to pause the movie. "We're best friends, aren't we? You can tell me anything. I mean, you even know about... You know, my thing..?"

"Yeah, about that. Would you like to... You know, be alone with my house for a bit?" Brett asked, and Eddy knew it was just a distraction from Brett's own weird mood. This was something he couldn't really pass up on, though.

"What? Really?" Eddy asked, sounding sceptical. "You'd... I mean, you do know what I want to... I mean..?"

"I know you wanna fuck my house, yeah, I've noticed. You've been very touchy-feely with it lately, and I just thought... If you want to do something, I can... I don't know, go for a walk or something? Visit my grandma or something?"

Eddy blinked a few times. God, just thinking about it made him horny. To get to go up the staircase and rub against the railing, caress the walls...

"I mean... If you're sure? I know it'd be weird, no?" he asked, sounding unsure. "To know that I've...?"

"Just clean up everything you've touched and I guess it's cool," Brett said on an exhale. He looked pretty tense. "You know where I keep cleaning supplies, right?"

"In the cupboard under the microwave on the kitchen counter, no?"

...

Brett out his hands in his pockets as he strolled down the road. It was kinda windy, but not really a cold wind. He didn't really feel all that great. It was absurd really how desperate he was. Appearently desperate enough to let him actually fuck his _house._

What was even more insane was how jealous he was. How much he wished he could _be_ his stupid house!

Yes, he was head over heels in love with his best friend. He was madly in love with Eddy. Had been for years. It was stupid because it seemed all Eddy cared about was his house. He wasn't even sure if Eddy cared about him as a friend or if he was just with him to have access to his house.

"Stupid house," he muttered as he passed a pair of giggling girls, looking like they were on their way out for the evening. He kind of wanted to go out too, to have a drink. He knew Eddy would text him in an hour or so and tell him he was done, though.

Maybe he was actually the weird one? Sure, he knew it wasn't normal to like fucking houses, but it wasn't exactly normal to be in love with the same guy for years without ever getting any sign he felt the same either.

If only Eddy wasn't so beautiful when he played violin? Maybe if his laugh wasn't more beautiful than any music Brett had ever heard? It would have been so much easier to not fall in love with him again and again if Eddy hadn't been there for him for every failed audition, every fight with his mom, for every concert.

It wasn't even a full hour of walking around his neighbourhood before he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket with the text from Eddy. He wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing anymore. Sad, maybe? Hurt? It definitely stung to kbow Eddy would rather spend the hour with his house than him, in a way.

Opening the front door smelling the hint of lemon from the universal spray Eddy probably had used to clean up after himself made Brett feel sick. He got his shoes off and shuffled inside, finding a flustered Eddy on the couch.

"How was it?" Brett asked quietly, sitting down in the comfy chair. Eddy seemed to avoid all eye contact with him, which was absolutely fine by Brett. He would have broken down if their eyes met.

"It was... Yeah. Wow," Eddy admitted, licking his lips. He shifted uncomfortably, and Brett was absolutely certain he did not want to know why he was so uncomfortable sitting on his ass.

"Yeah? Good, good," Brett nodded, running a hand through his hair.

"You never told me you have a stain glass window in your room, though," Eddy commented, turning even redder.

Brett froze as he realized that Eddy having that information meant he had been in his room. He had not expected Eddy to go upstairs at all. Eddy never went upstairs. It should have made sense to him that he would while fucking his house, shouldn't it?   
"You went upstairs?" he asked as a squeaked, cheeks quickly reddening. Shit. "To my... Room?"

"Yeah I... It's much easier to to up the stairs when it's okay to get hard..." Eddy mumbled, licking his lips. "You've got some sexy stairs."

"I... I don't know what to make of that information," Brett mumbled, unconsciously hiding his face behind a stretched out forehead scratch.

"I found some information I don't know what to make of either, though," Eddy commented, licking his lips nervously.

"You did, huh?" Brett mumbled, wanting to sink through his chair. Well shit.

Eddy shifted again, visibly uncomfortable. Of course he was uncomfortable, knowing what he knew.   
"Yeah, I... I saw the coloured light from the stain glass through the crack in the door..." he began before shaking his head. "That's really beside the point. You're... I mean...?"

"You read my diary," Brett sighed, shaking his head.

"It was open on the desk."

"You weren't supposed to read it. You weren't supposed to know."

"You should have told me, we could work something out," Eddy said, fiddling with his sleeves. "Like a date or something."

"But you're just saying that because you want to keep seeing my house, right? I don't really matter in this equation?" Brett asked with a sigh, shaking his head. "If I moved, would you even bother seeing me? Or is it just my house?"

"Not at all, Brett. You're my best friend! The fact that your house is sexy as hell is just a bonus," Eddy said, surprised that Brett would even suggest that. "And for the fact that you have a crush on me... I mean, it doesn't really sound bad to be with you? I can see that happening, I just haven't thought about it."

"Now you're just pitying me," Brett said, sceptical of Eddy's words. It was a weird feeling, feeling like you were less worth than your house.

"No, I mean it. Let's go on a date and let's see how it goes, yeah?" Eddy suggested with a smile.

"Are you sure?" Brett asked, still sceptical. "You know I'd let you come see my house even if you rejected me, right?"

"I know."

"Okay, then. How about Saturday?"


End file.
